Goodbye My Dear Friend…

I have a confession (which this blog will be full of, in case you didn’t get that in the title). I rarely miss an episode of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. 

Dr Drew in "group" on Celebrity Rehab

I’m not sure if it’s the intrigue of seeing obscure celebrities at their worst or the medical rehab of a fellow human being…. Ok, I know. It’s seeing celebrities at their worst. It can be like watching a train wreck. I just can’t take my eyes off watching a former TV child star deal with their addiction to drugs or a reality star confess their issues with alcohol since they won their million on Survivor.

In this last season, upon “graduating” from rehab, Dr. Drew had each of the “celebrities” (and I use that word lightly because I had to Google several of them…I’d never HEARD of them) write a letter to their “addiction”. After reading it to the group, Dr. Drew had them go to a fire place and burn the letter. I began to wonder, what would my letter say to my “addiction”? That’s when I decided to write the following letter:

My dear friend,

I don’t remember our first meeting, but I do recall our last. I don’t remember how long we have known one another, but I do recall your presence at each birthday, my wedding, and even my children’s birthdays. You found your way to each holiday, every special event, even times when I was alone. You were there. I invited you to share in my ups and downs.

Now, dear friend, I must bid you farewell. I am not sure if it will be for a lifetime or just for a season. As I looked in the mirror today, I saw signs of you everywhere. You have made such an impression on me, becoming a part of me. But I am changing. And my first change will be to say goodbye. Oh, I still love you, but I must turn from you.

So farewell, dear sweet sugar. My tea will not be the same without but hopefully, my belly will not miss you. Find a new home. We may see one another again when I learn to love you in moderation. Until that time, I must say so long.

Goodbye dear chocolate...

So Father, it is only with Your strength can I accomplish this. I am weak but You are strong. Your Word says in Proverbs 16:3 "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." So I commit to You to cleanse Your temple of sweets. Help me to succeed to bring glory to You. Amen.

My Routine

My day today began as most: with my alarm going off at 5:10 am. And me quickly calculating that is not really 5:10am but rather 5 am. I, like many people, set my alarm clock 10 minutes fast. I always have. When I was younger I set it that way so I could sleep later....Not really sure what I thought I was accomplishing as I hit the snooze every 5 minutes. But, now it is just habit.

But this morning, as I was saying, began at...we'll say 5 am to be honest (and that is what I plan to be). By 5:15, I was out the door with my i-pod, some Kirk Franklin and Third Day and the stars to light my run. That's right, run. For anyone who's known me more than a minute, knows that I don't run...at least I didn't run until this past February. For a reason I am still not sure why, I decided that I was going to run 3-5K races before I turned 35 (get it...3-5Ks...35). Anyway, I started running. And as many told me, it stuck. An addiction you could say, probably one of my better vices.  And I like it. I like the feeling of accomplishment, the energy and the way my body has change. After years of damage that I have caused to "the temple" in which my Father dwells, I pray that the changes I have been making are cleaning it out. Just as King Joash did.

I teach 4 year olds at our church. This Sunday, we heard the story of King Joash restoring the temple after years of destruction by the people. It was broken, dirty and abandoned. I was reminded of our bodies being the temple of God. If we know Him as our Savior, Jesus dwells within us. As my blog is titled, I am a junk food mom. I love nothing more than to sit down with a bag of chips and follow it by a carton of ice cream with candy on the side. So for the past 25 years of my Christian walk, I have been filling "the temple" with junk and tearing it down with poor habits. Many people don't think of food as being a spiritual thing, but for me it is. I have looked to food rather than my Father for comfort in hard times and celebration in the good. I have used it to bring me "happiness" when I could of had amazing joy. And I am seeing the same things starting to happen in my kids. I would much rather them see me cross the finish line of a race rather than stuff it with a banana split. So now it begins...

I am learning that the "thorn in my flesh" that Paul wrote about is as different for each of us as are personalities. So my confession is that I am a Junk Food Mom...who is learning to break the cycle. I love my kids; I love my husband; but I adore my God. And I am learning that whatever is controlling me is taking His place in my life. So I begin a journey to allow Him to control me, to guide me, to be my comfort and my joy, to learn food is for nutrition and NOT love, and to teach my children how to care for the temple of God. I pray that through blogging this journey, ups and downs, highs and lows, that I will have accountability and maybe encourage others but most of all to bring Him glory as He guides me through. 

Thank you Jesus for loving me with all my mess ups and mistakes. I pray Father that You be glorified in all I do. Help me to cleanse Your temple so other can see Your reflection in me. Amen.

Oh, and I have completed all 3-5Ks with 4 months to spare :)